Drawing by John Tenniel from the book Alice in Wonderland My first name is Alice. My name was made famous by Lewis Carroll’s book “Alice in Wonderland.” I’ve heard all the jokes. My middle name is Elizabeth. Since it is a multi-generation, ancestral name, I like to pretend it is the result of imperial lines in my family tree. These facts justify my delusion of royalty while I am alone in the garden. Combining Queen Elizabeth’s fiery personality and the Queen of Hearts famous edict “Off with her head!” I create my own little version of history. It’s my garden and I can pretend if I want to. The best game I play is while dead-heading spent blooms. As I sentence flowers to a headless demise, I yell (silently), “Off with her head!” This is an example of gardening as therapy. I displace aggression on flowers since they are socially acceptable victims. Trust me, try it.
In CT, it is time to behead Daffodils that have seen better days. Wrap your fingers underneath the faded flower and cradle its bulbous head in your hand. Place the axe (your thumb) on the top of the neck. (Many gardeners keep a long thumbnail specifically for this task.) Chop down violently or push slowly, depending on your sadistic tendencies. Only one whack is the merciful technique. Make sure to remove the entire head, not just the pretty blonde hair (petals.) This correct practice will ensure that all the energy from the sun will go down to the soul (the bulb) and create better and more blooms next time around.
This post may portray me as a violent person. In reality, I am a peace-loving, flower child who would never hurt anyone or exclude any group because of their beliefs, lifestyle or petal color.
